It's been a long time....too long, and too many reasons to really explain as to why I have been MIA. Instead, I'll "send" you our Christmas card and a promise that I will start back up after the holidays. I've missed you all (even though I have been reading). Merry Christmas!!
Click and you will be able to read our letter! :)
As if it wasn't bad enough that I have to share my shower time, part of the week with other people, it has been further invaded by someone who apparently is ready to PAR-TAY!
What I want to know is....where is "Mr. Muscles, (as Olivia calls him) aka Ken??? Someone really needs to let Barbie know that we don't party like that in our house!
I've noticed an unusual behavior of mine in the last several years that should have died looooong ago.
It's very similar to when my children state that they are 7 years and 1 month, or just like a bit ago before Olivia turned 5, she let everyone know she was 4 and THREE-QUARTERS. Whenever someone breaks that assumed social faux-paux, and asks me how old I am, I don't seem to be able to give them a straight-forward answer.
But, I'm weird. Instead of being like your stereo-typical woman and wanting to lie about her age and be younger than who she is, I act like my children....I give the answer, of "I'll BE 36." instead of saying I'm 35, which is how old I am. What the heck is wrong with me?!?
I'm the baby, not of my family, but of practically every social circle I am involved in and it gets old. I LOVE the fact that I don't look my age, but it adds to "the problem" too.
Professionally, I feel I have to prove myself over and over again, because I am not some old looking geeky scientist. Sorry, never will be, and if looking that way is what proves that you have brains and my 13 years of experience in the field doesn't, then it is YOUR problem.
Socially, I will be the last to turn 40 or 50 or whatever (yeah!) by several years, but for some reason there seems to be an air of superiority over me for this reason. This is NOT imagined. All our neighbors are having parties left and right, and Dave's fraternity brothers are turning just as fast.
Does 5 more years of life give you so much more experience and wisdom to call another person who is younger than you a "baby", or to assume I couldn't relate to what they are talking about? At this stage in our life are they any more well established, secure, and self-assured than I am?
Hell NO. I'm 35 and proud of it, and YOU are just OLDER than me! Of course you are more than welcome to come to my 40th birthday party in 4 and one-quarter years!
Clearly I didn't learn my lesson from last year.....well maybe I did, but just a tad. Olivia had another FABULOUS birthday party....and the only thing I DID learn from last year was to invite fewer children. This really wasn't a big deal since after a year of pre-school she really had her opinions on who she wanted there, and I had my opinion that I wanted the party to be BEFORE school started so we wouldn't have to invite the ENTIRE class! Plus, I don't think the boys would have really enjoyed the mani-pedi/flip-flop theme! :)
Dave's reunion was fun, and it was soooo nice to have two nights out in a row with grown-ups! The down side? We might have stayed out too late and had a tad too much to drink the first night out so I was totally sober and yawning the entire second night! I am such a party animal!
This picture is right before we went out Friday night....remember what he said to me a few days before the reunion??? Oh, and Mrs. 4444, THIS is what I look like! :)
Click to enlarge! :)
**Last weekend we had Jacob's birthday party. It was an outdoor camp-out sleep-over. For 13 boys. I didn't even sleep outside and I am still recouperating. For some idiotic reason I cleaned the house before the party?!? That was stupid. Won't be doing that kind of party again. EVER.
**I'm a little stressed out with all that I have going on....work is kicking my hiney lately, both kid's birthdays are within two weeks of each other, my mother is coming in, school is starting, etc. and it is showing on my face. I have a lovely zit right between my eyes, and another large one on my chin, with a few small ones brewing. So, I'm sitting at the kitchen island the other night, and Dave takes a look at me, and with a grand sweeping gesture in front of my face tells me that I need to get control of the "zit situation" before his 20th reunion this weekend.
Yeah. It's a good thing there was an entire cabinet separating us, otherwise I would have literally kicked his @ss. Maybe his highschool friends will think that he is married to a teenager, instead of a MILF? (total sarcasm here folks!) :)
**Let's go ahead and continue with the subject of my loved ones beating my self-esteem down shall we? Olivia asked me the other day, "Mommy, why is the bottom of your hair a different color than the top of your head? It doesn't look good like that." I haven't colored my hair in over a year....it's a luxury that I have decided to give up, but I didn't think it was that bad since my stylist is so good at blending. Maybe I should get it all chopped off, if SHE (the five year old fashionista) is saying something about it.....
**She, again the almost five year old fashionista, was rubbing my legs last night, and informed my that they were stickly. I didn't realize I was living with my mother?!? Of course, I'm sure she is telling me all of this out of the kindness of her sweet little heart.
**On a happier note....Jake is saying that he wants to run a marathon. While we applaud his initiative, we suggested that perhaps he might want to start with something a tad shorter, say a 5K? He was interested....when asked who he wanted to train with he said Daddy.
Us: Why, Daddy?
Jake: Because I'm concerned about your weight Daddy, and you need to get in shape!
Dave: Your not worried about Mommy? Doesn't she need to get in shape too?
Jake: NO! Mommy's perfect!
Have I told you how much I LOVE that kid?!?
Dear Jacob,
You turned 7 last week, and I can hardly believe it. Seven seems so old, and yet, in my eyes, you are still my little bunny-boo, but when I look at the pictures from last year to now, it appears to be true. You are growing up right before my eyes.
You are still a tender-hearted boy despite some rough patches and hard lessons about humanity this year. Everyone still comments about the constant smile on your face, just as they have since you were a baby, it only disappears when you believe an injustice has been done, mainly to you. :) You love to play your DS and Wii, and consider yourself a "gamer", but also love playing baseball (you batted .865 this year!) and soccer just as much, along with swimming and gymnastics!
Dude, you lost 8 teeth this year, AND you learned to ride your two-wheeler!!
You love to read, and are very good at it and math is a close second. Writing is NOT your favorite subject. Being with your friends is just about heaven on Earth for you, and you typically don't want Olivia bothering you when you are with them. Your relationship with her is very typical of an older brother/younger sister....she looks up to you and always wants to be with you. You pick on her, but are the first to console her if someone else hurts her or her feelings. The two of you are the best of friends when it is time to get ready for bed and you both would rather play and run around.....I love hearing you giggle together.
Thank you so much for making me a Mommy 7 years ago buddy. I love everything about you. Your smile, your picky eating, your empathy, your desire for justice, your tears, your pats on my back, your hugs, our talks, how your room already smells like a "boy's" room, how innocent you still are, that you love to share your excitement, that you still want to play with Daddy and I. EVERYTHING.
I never truly knew what unconditional love felt like, giving it or taking it, until I had you.
I love you bunny with all my heart, forever and ever.
Mommy
My childhood friend Jeni kept asking, via facebook, when are you coming home???
Little did she know how loaded that question was for me. Initially I kept putting her off. Oh, I'll come and visit before summer is over, I'll come sometime in August....and it wasn't that I didn't want to visit her. I just didn't have a home to go home to. And, I was nervous. Would she still like me? Would anyone else want to see me?
In addition to the fact that I've spent so much time and and effort running away from the place that I used to call "home" in an effort to create my new version of home. Inadvertently, this also meant distancing myself from my friends that I grew up with, since I rarely came home during college and I literally moved to another city the day after graduation.
After looking at our family calendar, I decided to bite the bullet and make it a girls' weekend. No more excuses. I wanted to see Jeni and her family, and if anyone else joined us, great! and if not, no big deal. Olivia and I hit the open road.
She wanted to see the house where I grew up.....I drove by real slow. For both of us to soak it in.
Not much has changed. Olivia asked if my mom was a Grandma. I asked her back what she thought.....her answer was Yes. I told her she was correct. Silence followed. She will figure out the connection soon.....
I drove past my highschool on the way to Jeni's house. It felt weird, foreign, and yet so familiar to be driving on these roads. So much has changed and everything is the same. Memories come flooding back, the pit in my stomach, anxiousness, and the good times with friends flying down the roads, with music cranked up loud. It wasn't all bad. Cheering on soccer fields, running on the track....washing my car at the car wash.
Olivia pulls me out of my mind. We are there. Jeni and my other childhood friend Sonya (starting from Kindergarten!) and her boys. It was a fabulous day.....I had to hold back tears many times, because I was so happy to be there with them. Watching them as moms interact with their children, talking to Sonya about her future surgery as part of her journey in her breast cancer survivor story, seeing Olivia become fast friends with Jeni's middle daughter and listen to them make future sleep-over plans, loving on the baby. It all just made me happy, and I hadn't been happy in that place that I used to call home in a long time.
I can't wait to go back.
The merry-go-round continues......in the car on the way to camp this morning....
Jake: Mommy. Can I ask you some questions?
Me: Of course. Anytime.
Jake: Like right now. I need to ask you some things right now.
Me: Sure. What's up. Is everything ok?
Jake: What's the ocean that borders the northern part Russia?
Me: That's your question?!? The answer is the Arctic Ocean.
The questions continued....and luckily I knew the answers.....not quite the heart-to-heart I was expecting though!
I feel like I am living in a funny (like a clown, not funny, ha ha) merry-go-round of life right now and I need to get off and get control of things. For example, this is part of normal conversation as of late....
Olivia: Daddy, it's not nice to cut someone's head off, right?
Dave: Yessss, you are right, Olivia.
Olivia: Only doctors and hospitals can cut off someone's head.
Dave: Yeah, I guess so. Let's talk about something else.
Olivia: Ok, Daddy!
Weird, and pretty darn disturbing if I do say so myself.....
After a brief stop to Quick Trip (a convenience store) to get me some much needed coffee....
Jake: Mommy, I wish Quik Trip was a restaurant.
Me: You do? Why? Is Taco Bell too fancy for you?
Jake: Yeah, and they don't have vanilla shakes.
Alrighty then. Taco Bell, please take note, and for that matter; Quik Trip too!
Well, I have been home just long enough that I can hear Olivia's whining in my sleep, my patience or lack-there-there-of, is back to its normal level, and while Jake's quoting of Ludacris's song "Get Back" was cute the first few times, being told, "Mommy, you don't KNOW me like that!" full with attitude and hand gestures....is getting pretty old.
Au, contraire mon fraire.....my sweet, not quite seven, little white boy. I DO know you like that, and I have pictures to prove it! Don't make me show you and scar you for life.
I am already thinking back to the good times of trip....you know, before celebrities starting dropping like flies.
I loved having the king size bed all to my self! No snoring hubby next to me, no snoring golden retriever at the foot of the bed, and no children waking up in the middle of the night or at the butt crack of dawn....and I brought my own plo-plo (pillow) to complement theirs. Black out curtains and setting the air conditioner just how I liked it, and total control of the remote control, equaled Perfection.
I also got to eat absolute grown-up food. We didn't have to take into consideration one little bit whether they would have one solitary bite of food that children would like or eat. So we went hog wild. Just looking at all that sushi makes my mouth water.
Now that the hammer is home again, we all need an attitude adjustment so we can enjoy the rest of our summer! Nothing like fireworks to get everyone in a great mood.....I hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend!
Apparently I am bad luck. Really, Really bad luck.
I arrived in LA, California on Monday evening.
Ed McMahon died the next morning. Ok.......that is sad, we can deal with that.
I leave LA and go to Pasadena for a meeting. Everything is fine.
I come back to LA for a conference on Wednesday afternoon.
I wake up and find out that Farrah Fawcett had died just a few minutes earlier. Wow....that is so, so sad. I watched her documentary. This is kind-of weird that two people have died in LA while I have been here.....
I'm outside on the UCLA campus, during a break, reading and getting a little bit of sun, highly annoyed at all the helicopters overhead.....when.....Dave texts me and lets me know that Michael Jackson has died at the UCLA Medical Center which is right next to me!
WTH??? Three people in three days all here in LA while I am here??? Way too bizarre!
I'm never going to be allowed to come back....or maybe their deaths really have nothing to with me after all.....and it was just their time to go.
I, of course, had to be a voyeur and take a little walk to the hospital just to say I was there.....
A police motorcade escorting we *think* Janet, or at least one of his female family members who was in a black Mercedes crying....(thanks to my co-worker for this bit of video!)
Luckily for me and the rest of the family I don't have to travel very often for work, usually just twice a year, but when I do it is usually for at least a week to 10 days. This requires a lot of planning on my part, and I'm not talking about packing, or booking hotels and airline tickets.
*Start prepping the kids for my absence and build up all the quality time that they are going to have with Daddy. Then, listen to crying and whining and deal with multiple chokes around the neck as Olivia refuses to let go of me until I start to pass out.
*Clean the house so that there is a standard example for my return. :)
*Do all the laundry so I can set out the appropriate clothes for Jake's activities throughout the week.
*Make a list for each day of where each child needs to go and when and what they need to take.
Olivia can buy her lunch everyday at summer pre-school.
Jake likes PB&J, pringles and a rice crispy treat everyday in his lunch for camp.
Jake has soccer tryouts on Tues, BBall practice on Weds, and gymnastics on Thurs, and BBall game on Sat.
*Dave thinks he needs to take a half-day from work every day to get the kids to where they need to be. HA! HA! HA! This makes me laugh. Obviously I work all day and still get them their dinner and where they need to be every week...... I think I talked him down to leaving just an hour early.
*I'm seriously stressed out about Olivia looking like a rag-a-muffin all week. It is going to be in the upper 90's all week and she needs her hair put up. I had to give Dave a crash course in brushing her long hair and putting it up in a pony-tail. It wasn't pretty.....I know he will do his best, but.....
*I didn't make it to the grocery store for a full re-stock, and for some reason last night, they hit McDonald's AND Lion's Choice....so I'm concerned that the last nutritious meal that will be eaten this week will be the one that I fed them which was the lunch before I left.
*Finally, the worst part of me traveling? Not being with these guys......
*****Maybe I DON'T miss the middle one in the picture so much right now.*** I have been gone just over 24 hours and look at what he has purchased.
* I can't reign in the hubby's spending when I am ~1,200 miles away from home. That is a big down-side to me traveling!
**While I am traveling to sunny, but cooler California for work, I thought I would re-post this in honor of my dad, especially since yesterday was Father's Day.**
Thirteen years ago today my dad committed suicide, which initially was so shocking and unimaginable as most suicides are, and yet after time, and reflection made perfect sense.
He came into my life officially just before I turned four years old. I remember sitting in the car with him waiting for my mom, and he talked with me explaining how he and my mom were going to be getting married, and how we were all going to be living together. I was in the front seat fidgeting around and being surly and pouting, and I remember telling him something to the effect that I wouldn't be calling him Daddy. I remember him saying that he hoped I would someday, but it was all up to me and he loved me no matter what. I *think* I called him Daddy before my mom came back, and I never once regretted it. (Just as a bit of background, once my mother and biological father got divorced, he never made any effort to see me so it was an easy transition for me.)
Right from the beginning he was my light and love in an otherwise dark, scary and essentially loveless household. When my parents first got married he was a bartender and I remember going to the bar (wow times have changed!) and he would make me Shirley Temples or cherry Cokes and he would always make a big deal about sneaking me extra cherries. Then, he would get the dance floor set up with some powder of some sort that would really let me get my 4 year old dance on. It was cool and fun. THAT, I remember.
My parents never really played with us, as Dave and I play with our children, but I do remember a few tea parties with my daddy as a special guest, and we would occasionally be able to talk him into a rousing game of Sorry! (which is probably why I love to play it with Jacob) or when were at my grandparents' house we would always play "marbles" which was very similar to Trouble. Luck was always on his side, and it was a running joke, that no one really wanted to play against him, because he always won, and when he did win, it was just as much fun to give him grief about it.
I credit my taste in music to him. I remember being 3 or 4 (and older) sitting in what should have been a formal dining room, but instead was the "stereo room" that was only illuminated with black lights, listening to Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, The Doors, and numerous other groups that I feel have shaped my musical tastes and really define me as a person in so many ways. It used to give me such perverse pleasure, that whenever he was really mad at my mom he would put on The Wall, or anything by George Thorogood and just blare it because she hated those albums. How's that for passive aggressive? Needless to say, I LOVE both.
He would try to be a buffer between my mom and I. He knew he could only do so much before he would get himself into trouble, but I knew he was usually on my side. Take the time I snuck out of the house one night, and my Yorkie busted me by yapping non-stop when he heard me outside with my friends. I immediately ran back inside but it was too late. He was standing there waiting. My mom was working that night, and he told me to go to bed and we would talk about it in the morning. Instead of telling my mom, which would have blown the entire house up, he gave me a days worth of manual labor.....mowing the lawn, washing and waxing the cars, ironing, etc., and then it was done and over with. Never to be talked about again. Funny how I remember that punishment and why it was given, and none of my mother's irrational ones.
There were times during my teenage years where he would take my mother's side, and I took that personally. That was when I felt like I had nobody. Looking back, it was self preservation on his part I'm sure.....but I was no angel all the time either. I remember I was in a very heated argument, and I had finally started standing up for myself. This didn't go over very well to say the least. I don't remember what the argument was about, nor do I remember what caused me to say what I did, but I lashed out, and said the one thing that I knew would hurt him to the core. "blah blah blah, You're not even my REAL Dad!" It had the desired effect, and I immediately regretted saying it. I still do. I wish those words had NEVER come out of my mouth.
He was everything a REAL dad could be and more. He accepted me into his life and as his daughter without reservation. He worked miserable hours with the post office(initially nights, then 4:30 am-1:30pm) to provide for us, even when he was in pain from throwing his back out time and time again. I honestly wonder if my fate would not have been the same as his, if he had not been a part of my life. He was my calm within the storm. As the years went by, and I got older we would have long talks late into the night about life, love, his hopes and expectations for me. Once I was in college, we would even talk about things that had happened while I was growing up, and I would talk to him about my concern regarding his increased drinking, his disappointments and general unhappiness....
Multiple things had finally come to a head, and life was taking it's toll. I knew that he wanted out one way or the other...he was trying to drink it all away, which only made things worse. Due to some things that had happened between my mother and I over the previous summer, I only came home briefly over Christmas break of my senior year, and barely saw him. I should have known. I had several phone conversations with him, but it didn't click. He almost didn't come to my graduation, thankfully he did. That was the last time I saw him alive. I didn't come home for Father's Day. My car was acting up, and it was a four hour drive home, but honestly it was because my boyfriend was going to be in town.....I called him instead, and he was crying on the other line. I knew it was bad, but I never thought......and I still live with that 
regret.
Not the regret of thinking that I could have stopped him, or made him feel any better, but the regret of not seeing him just one more time. I regret not having one more late night talk over a couple of drinks while listening to his newest music interest. I regret not being able to take one more drive in his car with him. I regret not being able to give him one more hug and kiss goodbye and smelling the gin and tonic on his breath and seeing it on his mustache. That is what I regret.
Just over a week later, he and my mother got into their final argument. He took the gun that they had in the house, left and never came back. He was found under a tree, in a park the next morning. He shot himself through the eye. He wanted to make sure that this was not "one more thing that he failed at".
I'm sad that he thought of his life as a failure. Life wasn't perfect and aspects of it for him were downright hard and in someways hopeless, but he didn't stick around long enough to reap the benefits of the things that were good.....I often wonder what kind of Grandpa he would have been to my children. I know that he would have loved Dave. They are so similar in many ways. How surprised and happy would he be that my sister and I are now so close and can honestly say that we love each other? Of course I wonder how different would all of our lives be if he hadn't done what he did? Would I be estranged from my mother? Would my sister and I be so close? Would I even have the family that I have? I don't know. But I do know, that I still miss him with all my heart even after all this time, and I wish that he was here sharing in our lives today. I love you and miss you Daddy.
**PSA** If you are EVER feeling so down about your life, and like it can't possibly get better please talk to someone, anyone. It WILL get better. Trust me, even I've been there after all I've gone through....and while my life certainly isn't perfect; I can't imagine not living it and having my husband and children by my side. xoxoxo
I needed a break and I took one. Alrighty then, clapping hands.....moving on.
May was INSANE!! Do you really want an update? Nah.....I'll just bore you with random updates when I really feel like it. :)
Right now, I'm just about ready to send my kids off to summer camp somewhere. Anywhere. I don't really care. Of course you know I am 80% kidding and in all honesty it is not really their fault.
Mother Nature has been PMSing now for like 5 months and she needs to get medicated NOW. All spring she messed with us, here in STL. One day we would have snow, then 80 degrees, then freezing rain, then 50s. Nothing the same two freaking days in a row. Bad Spring.
Now, it has been raining All. The. Flipping. Time. and when it is hasn't been raining, it is like 75-80 slightly overcast and no where near warm enough to go to the pool up the street. We are struggling here.....This is what we do to entertain ourselves the days I am home!
The kids really don't even want to be home with me anymore....how sad is that? Perhaps my month off of blogging etc. and really "plugging in" with them made them sick of me! Ha! Jake actually cried one night because he said it was too hard of a choice, he wanted to go to camp 5 days a week, but he also wanted to be home with me 2 days a week, but he REALLY wanted to go to camp 5 days a week all summer because it was much more fun!
If I hear "I'm bored" and "This is a bad day" one more time.......I just might have to show them what my summer days were like without computers, DVDs, ipods, Nickelodeon, video games, etc!
Wait! Who would that be punishing?
I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day! I know I did....Dave did all the laundry, delivered breakfast and coffee in bed AFTER letting me sleep in, and we had a great BBQ dinner at good neighbor friends of ours that the men cooked up.
My favorite though was the cute cards and pictures that the kids made for me. Olivia has really been on a butterfly kick lately and I received two beautiful paintings from her, and Jake wrote some lovely things about me. One was in a little book that had prompts and another was a freestyle essay.
My Mother By Jacob
My mother likes to play with me.
My mother's favorite sport is kopa. (Croquet?!?)
My mother's favorite color is pink.
My mother is beutiful.
My mother is good at yoga.
My mother and I like to play SORRY!
I love it when my mother helped my get the medallion! ( A big time reading award at school)
Mother's favorite food is cilly. (Chili)
My mother is 49 years old. (What the HECK?!?!)
I love my mom because she lets me play with a friend. She helps me to get the medallion. We talk with each other. She helps me with the challenge. I like my mom because when I am sick she takes good care of me. She reads me storyies. I like my mom because she is great mom!
It doesn't get much better than that......
Olivia and I were watching The Wizard of Oz the other morning, and of course the topic of Halloween came up....She decided again for the 50 gazillionth time (for that moment) that she wanted to be Dorothy this year.
The she asked me which witch I was going to be. I of course turned it back on her and asked her which witch she thought I should be!
Nervously I awaited her reply.....
Well, Mommy....You should be Glenda the Good Witch of course, because you are the most beautiful nicest mommy ever!
Everyone say AWWWWWWW! :)
****NO, I did NOT ask her again that evening as she was throwing a temper tantrum at the batting cages because I would not buy her a tiny bag of chips for 90 cents right before we were heading home to eat dinner.....I'm sure I would have gotten a very different answer!
Daddy, I'm confused.....is SH*T a bad word?
It's been very educational for Jacob at school this year. In addition to all his reading and writing and arithmetic, he has learned how to flip the bird, and now we found out he has learned the word SH*T and how to spell F#CK. Now isn't that special? In all honesty I'm actually quite surprised it took him almost 7 years to say his first cuss word considering that I had a pretty big potty mouth before having children, and I still cuss all the time in my mind, and when I drink, oh boy....it all comes flowing out. Especially when I am ranting and raving about something. Hard for you to believe I'm sure. Snort.
I remember when my little sister started cussing. She was so cute, in her little 2-3 year old pip squeak voice and blond haired curls, using sh*t and d@mn in all the appropriate places.....she got quite the different reaction than when my first cuss word slipped out in front of my mom. (Everyone thought it was cute and just giggled.) My parents cussed all the time and but was just understood that it was ok for them, but not for us. We weren't even allowed to say crap, shoot, stupid or shut-up. (all of which I actually agree with and think a child should NOT say either)
My cussing spree started down at the bus stop....back then there were never any parents that waited with the kids until the bus showed up. It was pure freedom and we all felt it. Everyone was doing it. I'm not sure what grade I was in, but it was lower elementary.....every other word out of everyone's mouth was a cuss word. We had no clue what they meant, but I knew I liked the power and how grown-up I felt as the F-Bomb flew out of my mouth with speed (sad to say it is still my favorite even though I know how vulgar and distastful it is) quickly followed by sh!t and d@mn. Oh, how I wish I could go back in time, so I could hear how ridiculous we must have all sounded......
Then my little world came crashing down....my mom asked what I wanted for dinner. I believe I asked for a grilled cheese sandwich and she said we were out of cheese.....and then it came out before I could stop myself.....I said.....D@mn it! Pure silence. Then the rage came on.....
It was like out of a Christmas Story, but a million times worse.....her demanding to know where I heard that word, who taught it to me, did I know any other words, etc. In my mind, I kept thinking YOU and DADDY taught them to me, but also knew deep down that if I said that, I would probably get myself in more trouble.....I couldn't rat out anyone at the bus stop, because I was just as bad as any of them! I just said from the kids at the bus stop.....she wanted to know who, and I just kept saying all of them.....knowing full and well she wouldn't do anything about it. I was forbidden from ever cussing again, and went to bed without dinner....excellent parenting I must say, and it obviously didn't work.
Back to Jacob.....yes buddy that's not a very nice word to say. Who taught you that word? (of course we were curious!) That word can get you in trouble at school and there are a lot of other nice words that we can use instead of that one. Jake started to cry, and Dave had to reassure him that he wasn't in trouble. If he is ever confused about whether a word is bad or not he can always come to us and ask. He won't get in trouble, and since the child only weighs 40 lbs, I will certainly never send him to bed without dinner!
I can't believe it....I think I may have turned into one of those moms. You know the ones....the kind that have their kids in a gazillion activities? Yep, looking at our schedule and when I actually say it out loud, I'm sort of appalled, but neither my kids nor I have any desire to cut anything out. My sister-in-law is probably getting such perverse pleasure out of being able to say "I told you so!" Since I openly swore my kids would only do one activity at a time......snort.
Let's see.....now granted it is really bad right now for Jacob, since Spring stuff is overlapping with the beginning of Summer stuff, but for Olivia, this is how it has been all year.
Both kids are taking swimming lessons, once a week. This really seems like a non-option to me, Olivia needs to learn how to swim, and Jake needs to improve his stroke technique, especially since he would like to do swim team next year. It is a bonus that both kids love it and want to keep doing it all the time, so I continue to sign them up, session after session.
Olivia is also in dance and gymnastics. Yes, so she is 4 and is in 3 activities. It sounds absolutely ridiculous I know.....she wanted to do T-ball this Spring too, and I did have to tell her no. See? I can say no....4 was WAY too much, but what do I do about soccer this fall? I don't want her to just be a girly-girl....We want her to be exposed to sports too so she can be well-rounded, and she has been to enough of Jake's soccer games, that she keeps asking when she gets to play. She will be 5 by the time fall soccer rolls around. I suppose swimming will have to be dropped for a while.
Jacob....he's the wonder boy who wants to do it all! In addition to swimming he is in soccer, and baseball and is also doing a play/musical for school. He wishes he was still doing gymnastics and wants to be on the neighborhood swim team this year, but I'm not ready for that level of commitment. (practice everyday) He wants to take golf lessons, and when Dave takes him to the driving range, the boy can hit the ball.....it seems like a shame not to foster his natural talent, but geez..... sigh.
I honestly don't feel like I am trying "to live" through my kids, but I do want them to be able to experience and do activities that they are good at and that interest them. We are blessed to be able to afford these activities, monetarily, and I still have control over the schedule so that it doesn't interfere with school work or bedtime. I didn't get to do anything extra growing up until I was in high-school, and I knew how much I was missing out on.....so maybe on some level I am living through them?
When is enough enough? When do you make your kids choose, or what makes you say no to something new that they want to try?
I've been eating eggs for breakfast this week....One hard-boiled egg along with either a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup egg or many Peanut M&M eggs. It's what I called a well-rounded breakfast, and it is making my ass very well-rounded too.
Word of warning...don't give your dogs the yolks of your hard-boiled eggs. When they fart, the reverberation off of the hard wood floor startles them so much that it wakes them up, and then the smell is is so bad that even they leave the room. The stench lingers for a VERY. LONG. TIME. Anyone have a gas mask I can borrow?
I'm wondering why I always want ice cream or cookies when I watch Biggest Loser? I never have this craving when I'm watching say....Law and Order or Survivor. Isn't it bad enough that I'm just laying on the couch watching people work out?
Finally, there comes a time in every young boy's athletic career when he needs to get some protection for his "nether region". Jake's time came this week.
I think his exact words were SWEET! this will even protect my hands when they are in there! (lovely) He then ran a few laps around the house to see if the cup would slow him down, and after determining that it did, but he would get used to it, he gave it a firm knock and said cool! Olivia couldn't quit giggling, that is until she told him to hit himself again but harder to see if it would hurt. Which being a typical boy, he did and of course it didn't hurt, so she told him to hit himself even harder and this game went on and on until we had to put a stop to it, but only after we had composed ourselves in the other room. I had no idea that a boy's first cup was such an exciting event!
To see more Friday Fragments visit Mrs. 4444 at Half-Past Kissin' Time
Last fall, Olivia started waking up in the middle of the night crying for us to come sleep with her, luckily she has a full size bed (just for occasions like this) so one of us would drag our half comatose selves into her room and settle her down, but if we attempted to leave to go back to our own bed, she would cling to our arm and start to cry again. This was not just a matter of her wanting us to sleep with her. She was scared. After about a month it was really taking a toll on all of us...she was having some pretty serious nightmares and I didn't understand why or what to do about them. She kept saying she saw faces in her nightmares, in her nightmares, she saw faces in her nightmirrors, in her night mirrors! Her mirror is directly across from her bed! We came up with the plan to put a blankie over her mirror and she has not had a "nightmirror" since. The blankie is still there over six months later.......
Some pretty tramautic news rocked our world a few weeks ago (hence my recent drop in blogging) and I am not handling the aftermath very well. At first the images and over analyzation of everything was just while I was awake....My brain was just hitting play and rewind over and over and it wouldn't stop. Finally, I guess it couldn't take that anymore and my mind calmed enough during the day so that I could focus on work and other things that needed to be done, but that has come at a price.
The nightmares I am having are of the worst kind imagineable. They are so graphic and violent, Dave says he can hear me moaning. What are the worst possible things that you could imagine happening to your children, your spouse, and even yourself? Those are all the things that are in my dreams in vivid details all. night. long. I am very aware of what is going on, and I know I am not in a deep sleep, and they don't end until I wake up in the morning. It seems to ease up a bit when I talk about what happened to trusted friends, but only momentarily....
I wish I could just put a blanket over my mirror and make my nightmirrors go away.
-Olivia and I were actually listening to my music for
once! and Bad Company, playing the song Bad Company
was on. She asked me, Mommy? Are they singing about
Bread Company? How's this for the song lyrics?
"Bread, Bread Company....till the day I die..." Sounds
good to me. Why yes honey, they are! I dare you to
sing it.....
-Jake really enjoyed doing his first grade musical where
he had a speaking part and the entire first grade (all 5
classes) sang multiple songs and all the kids worked
really hard on it. He asked when he could do another
one, so I signed him up for an after school class that
you pay for, but is still at his school. The kids in the
class will be performing a musical call "Grade School
Musical". But get this. He is the ONLY boy in the entire
class! Thankfully he is fine with it since he has
(girl)friends in the class and was excited to show us his
first dance that he learned. It should be interesting to
see what they do with him...I imagine he will be front
and center! :)
-After two summers of coercion, bribes, many tears,
arguments, pouting, silent treatments,and flat out
disregard for what each other thought was the best
way to handle it, it is over.......until next time.
The winner of the Clinique give-away is.......
Kel from CafeKel--From Martinis to Motherhood!
Send me your address and I will get your package out to you asap! Congrats!!
For those of you that didn't win, it is BONUS TIME at Macy's so go grab your 3 step kit and you can get a bunch of free stuff too!
I originally posted this last year on Dave's birthday, and I modified it a little bit, but not much! My feelings are still same....and nothing has changed....Happy 38th Birthday Babe!! I love you!
I'm never going to marry any guy that has a shaved head, tattoos or an earring! A bold statement from my 11 year old cousin a few years ago. Why is that? Someone else asked. Well, duh. I want to marry someone who is going to be a good husband and a great father! I love my cousin to death....she is just about the sweetest thing there is, so I was pretty surprised to hear such shortsightedness coming out of her, but she was only 11 and I was willing to cut her some slack. My aunt (her mom) however, called her out on it. What about Dave? He shaves his head, has 3 tattoos and has an earring. Are you saying he isn't a good husband or a good dad?
She immediately got all red faced and realized she had made a broad generalization about a "type" of person that wasn't necessarily true. I wish I could say that this only happens with "the youngins" but I can't.
When Dave and I first met, he had a head of hair, not full head mind you, but it was there, and it covered his whole noggin. Just a few years later, it was best that he shave it. He blames me, I blame Kaira. :) Then he decided to re-pierce his ear. He really wanted to do his eye brow, but knew that work really wouldn't go for that. We got married and one of our groomsmen gave us/him a gift certificate to Iron Age as a wedding present. And thus began the obsession. He would have more than three if I would allow it, but they are expensive!!!
#3 also by Trevor Collis
With Jake's permission, I'm going to share a writing a week from his journal.**
It was time to go to Lornen school to sled. It was exciting! It was close to us. I went on steep hill so did my sisder. We had lot's fun there. I went on the edge of the ramp. We made snow angles and a snoball fight. On the edge of it was a snow ramp. My sled was blue my sister's was pink. I was time to go in the car. I loved sleding. At home we made a snow tunnle. We can't go in it. I tride and did it!
**Keep in mind, he is 6 years old and in first grade. I am going to transcribe it exactly as he has written it.
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