Daddy, I'm confused.....is SH*T a bad word?
It's been very educational for Jacob at school this year. In addition to all his reading and writing and arithmetic, he has learned how to flip the bird, and now we found out he has learned the word SH*T and how to spell F#CK. Now isn't that special? In all honesty I'm actually quite surprised it took him almost 7 years to say his first cuss word considering that I had a pretty big potty mouth before having children, and I still cuss all the time in my mind, and when I drink, oh boy....it all comes flowing out. Especially when I am ranting and raving about something. Hard for you to believe I'm sure. Snort.
I remember when my little sister started cussing. She was so cute, in her little 2-3 year old pip squeak voice and blond haired curls, using sh*t and d@mn in all the appropriate places.....she got quite the different reaction than when my first cuss word slipped out in front of my mom. (Everyone thought it was cute and just giggled.) My parents cussed all the time and but was just understood that it was ok for them, but not for us. We weren't even allowed to say crap, shoot, stupid or shut-up. (all of which I actually agree with and think a child should NOT say either)
My cussing spree started down at the bus stop....back then there were never any parents that waited with the kids until the bus showed up. It was pure freedom and we all felt it. Everyone was doing it. I'm not sure what grade I was in, but it was lower elementary.....every other word out of everyone's mouth was a cuss word. We had no clue what they meant, but I knew I liked the power and how grown-up I felt as the F-Bomb flew out of my mouth with speed (sad to say it is still my favorite even though I know how vulgar and distastful it is) quickly followed by sh!t and d@mn. Oh, how I wish I could go back in time, so I could hear how ridiculous we must have all sounded......
Then my little world came crashing down....my mom asked what I wanted for dinner. I believe I asked for a grilled cheese sandwich and she said we were out of cheese.....and then it came out before I could stop myself.....I said.....D@mn it! Pure silence. Then the rage came on.....
It was like out of a Christmas Story, but a million times worse.....her demanding to know where I heard that word, who taught it to me, did I know any other words, etc. In my mind, I kept thinking YOU and DADDY taught them to me, but also knew deep down that if I said that, I would probably get myself in more trouble.....I couldn't rat out anyone at the bus stop, because I was just as bad as any of them! I just said from the kids at the bus stop.....she wanted to know who, and I just kept saying all of them.....knowing full and well she wouldn't do anything about it. I was forbidden from ever cussing again, and went to bed without dinner....excellent parenting I must say, and it obviously didn't work.
Back to Jacob.....yes buddy that's not a very nice word to say. Who taught you that word? (of course we were curious!) That word can get you in trouble at school and there are a lot of other nice words that we can use instead of that one. Jake started to cry, and Dave had to reassure him that he wasn't in trouble. If he is ever confused about whether a word is bad or not he can always come to us and ask. He won't get in trouble, and since the child only weighs 40 lbs, I will certainly never send him to bed without dinner!
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18 comments:
I remember being very confused as a child by "bad" words. Sweet little Jacob. (really? 40 lbs? Finn, at 5 weighed in at 46.2 this morning! I think I have a future linebacker on my hands. The kid is solid!)
I remember the first time I used the word d@mn. We were on our way home from a wedding and my cousins had given me some "Drinks". I was only 14 and it was late and I was in the back seat and said something to the effect of, "D@mn it". It did NOT go over well!
My son has used a curse word or two...my daughter nothing.
haha..yep, I say it - have a horrible potty mouth, try to keep it undercontrol and for themost part it is, in front of them, but no kids..oh boy am I in trouble. I kind of giggle the first time the kids use it, but they learn its not ok, its not nice and people get their feelings hurt by using those words. Doesn't stop them from saying them under their breath while in their room...and yes, I still giggle when I hear 'd@mn it' sneak down the hall when she realizes somethings not quite right in her room. :) haha
~K
My parents would have slapped the word right out of us if we cussed. I didn't and still don't much to this day... has to be something REALLY bad (or "appropriate" as Mom would say) for a word like that to slip.
My cousin and I used to write lettes all the time when we were little - snail mail letters. She told me, "I didn't realize I was cussing so much in my lettes until you sent me a response and said, "Hey, can you cut down on the cussing?" Lol. I'm a prude, go ahead, say it.
That same cousin has three kids. She and her husband substitute cuss words for "fish." So, instead of F this, it's Fish This or Fish That or Fish Head. Makes for funny conversations and then it's difficult for an argument to follow.
Actually, if you think about it, us adults sound pretty ridiculous when we cuss, too!
My kids are learning a lot of new words this year, too. Yikes.
40 lbs? My son JUST hit 50 lbs at age 10. We're all different.
I used to be married to a sailor - I had a very bad potty mouth. I soon learned that bad language is distasteful, inappropriate, and not very classy. - My children know which words are appropriate because if they don't hear mommy and daddy using them then it's most likely inappropriate. - The most powerful lessons in life are learned through examples (both positive and negative). I can't expect my children to learn a good behavior if I don't practice it myself.
I am worried that all my children will be diet coke-aholics.
I remember the first time Son #1 copied his dad and let one slip...I think it might have been a F-Bomb. Hubby and I looked at each other and decided right then to clean up our language (which was not TOO bad, but even so...)
When my boys turned into teenagers I had no doubt they knew all the cuss words, but as long as they didn't use them around me I could live with it. For the most part they remembered.
p.s. i have a post coming up on the current words of choice at our house-- check it out!
Aww. That was a very sweet way to handle it. Poor kid thought he was in big trouble. ;)
Ooooh......I am so not ready for these lessons. You guys handled it beautifully. My little one said his first little swear when he repeated my road raging the other day. I forget how 2 1/2 year olds love to mimic the adults they love. Luckily I was in the front seat and he couldn't see my smirk when he repeated the word "damn". It just sounded cute (as I am sure it did when your sister swore at that age) and I ignored it. I need to be more mindful of language in the car :)
Andrew's "mother" used to send him to bed without dinner. I think that's a horrible punishment. =(
We have potty mouths, we're awful. The kids generally know that they can't repeat those words, although Andrew likes to be a little parrot. lol
My oldest son's first curse word was D@MMIT! when his little bouncy ball rolled under the washing machine! It was SO hard not to laugh while admonishing him for that. He was around 2!
My son said, "Shitbag" the other night (in reference to the bag my husband used to pick up the dog's poop). It was all I could do not to laugh out loud.
I am the worst. I am laughing right now at the shitbag comment!
I use the words often enough. I usually can't contain my laughter when I very occasionally hear one from my 7 year old autistic son. After all, he didn't speak for so many years, that I just didn't have it in me to say anything negative about his language! I'm just happy he's talking. Plus, if you give him a reaction, he can't help himself from repeating the behavior.
Now, my 11 year old daughter...that's another story. If one slips out, she gets reprimanded gently, but firmly.
My 7 year old just learned sh!t. Yeah, it's great....
Unfortunately the s-word was one of G first 10 words, the f-word one of his first 20.
As the only thing I say is damn and hell, my husband, who is Scottish where swearing is a sport, quickly cut them all out of his vocabulary and has done very well with it!! His parents on the other hand...specifically his mother!! Well, lets just say that we know when G has spent some time with her. Funny thing is she's retired now but she was in early childcare for 40 years!
Hmmm, yeah. I'm a sailor. You can well imagine what can come out of MY mouth. But not when the kids are around. For the most part.
I well remember MY first 'repeat' of words my father spoke. I spoke the exact same words at the exact same time as him once. Christmas Day. My brother had just opened one of his gifts - a wide, wide, WIDE white tie. Back in the day. When they were all the style. "Jesus Christ" Because I knew that's what Dad would say. And he did. Spoken at the same time. Didn't go over too well, but I wasn't banned from the Christmas feast.
I'm sure that my kids cuss. Well, I'm sure my son does (he's 10). His twin sister knows all the words, but she's very conscientious. As is my oldest daughter. She's in 7th grade and I know that F and S and C and B and MF and CS and pretty much any naughty word you can think of is used in daily conversation. But they seem to understand discretion, becasue they don't use that kind of language around adults.
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