I can't believe it....I think I may have turned into one of those moms. You know the ones....the kind that have their kids in a gazillion activities? Yep, looking at our schedule and when I actually say it out loud, I'm sort of appalled, but neither my kids nor I have any desire to cut anything out. My sister-in-law is probably getting such perverse pleasure out of being able to say "I told you so!" Since I openly swore my kids would only do one activity at a time......snort.
Let's see.....now granted it is really bad right now for Jacob, since Spring stuff is overlapping with the beginning of Summer stuff, but for Olivia, this is how it has been all year.
Both kids are taking swimming lessons, once a week. This really seems like a non-option to me, Olivia needs to learn how to swim, and Jake needs to improve his stroke technique, especially since he would like to do swim team next year. It is a bonus that both kids love it and want to keep doing it all the time, so I continue to sign them up, session after session.
Olivia is also in dance and gymnastics. Yes, so she is 4 and is in 3 activities. It sounds absolutely ridiculous I know.....she wanted to do T-ball this Spring too, and I did have to tell her no. See? I can say no....4 was WAY too much, but what do I do about soccer this fall? I don't want her to just be a girly-girl....We want her to be exposed to sports too so she can be well-rounded, and she has been to enough of Jake's soccer games, that she keeps asking when she gets to play. She will be 5 by the time fall soccer rolls around. I suppose swimming will have to be dropped for a while.
Jacob....he's the wonder boy who wants to do it all! In addition to swimming he is in soccer, and baseball and is also doing a play/musical for school. He wishes he was still doing gymnastics and wants to be on the neighborhood swim team this year, but I'm not ready for that level of commitment. (practice everyday) He wants to take golf lessons, and when Dave takes him to the driving range, the boy can hit the ball.....it seems like a shame not to foster his natural talent, but geez..... sigh.
I honestly don't feel like I am trying "to live" through my kids, but I do want them to be able to experience and do activities that they are good at and that interest them. We are blessed to be able to afford these activities, monetarily, and I still have control over the schedule so that it doesn't interfere with school work or bedtime. I didn't get to do anything extra growing up until I was in high-school, and I knew how much I was missing out on.....so maybe on some level I am living through them?
When is enough enough? When do you make your kids choose, or what makes you say no to something new that they want to try?
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3 hours ago
15 comments:
I did have to laugh - there was a lot of justifying going on the last paragraphs. I think as long as you know where you stand and why, then it's your decision to put them in as many or as few extra-curricular activities as necessary.
I think its great as long as they aren't overwhelmed.
I wish I had the energy, resources, availablity of activities for my kids to do all that stuff. I just keep telling my boys to wait until their sister is bigger and mommy can handle it all better. Cash is signed up for t-ball but its been delayed due to our crazy tornado situation.
I think as long as they are enjoying it and handling everything else (like school) well, there is no harm in keeping them so "well-rounded".
I did get a chuckle out of it all though :P
I think it's great you have them in so many activities. My motto is it never hurts to try, as long as we can afford it, and we have the time :)
I think if everyone is enjoying it, go with it. You will know if the kids are getting overwhelmed.
Man, can I relate!
Typical 11 year old daughter has like 12 activities simultaneously. Seriously.
School Drama Club, Band, Ballet, Choir, Jazz, Tap, Piano, Voice, Girl Scouts, Acting/Improv, Voice for Musical Theater, Softball.
She also just finished a run in a community theatrical production which had rehearsals M-Th 4-7 pm for 6 weeks, followed by 11 shows, with 6 of the 11 being in a row!
Before you think her grades must stink...she is the smartest girl in her class.
My autistic 7 year old son has karate, baseball, basketball, and when not doing hyperbaric oxygen therapy he swims.
I live in my car and love every crazy minute. It won't last forever. So enjoy it while you can.
As long as they love it and nothing is suffering, I say go for it. I expose them to everything and let them stick with the things they like best. (Believe it or not, my daughter gave up swim team, bowling, and Irish step dancing over the years.)
Don't worry about what other people think. (But they DO think you're crazy!lol)
Oh my. I'm exhausted just thinking about it!
We'll be there in a few years and I'll be looking to you for advice on how to juggle it all!
Good luck!
I'm all for activities for the kids...I didn't get to do any thing like that growing up so i make sure my girls do. I have had to learn to say no to a few things though...when I lost all time for MOM to have a life (ie go running 2times a week) yeah..something had to give, but she's still active. I think as long as the kids enjoy what they do and mom/dad are happy with their personal time then #'s don't count.
~K
some kids are high energy and want to try lots of stuff. i say go for it! we are pretty much homebodies here and getting through 1 sport plus scouts is like pulling teeth (for the grownups AND the kids).
Wow, I don't know how you do it. I was in quite a few things growing up, but there was only one of me, and that makes a big difference.
We rotate Sophie's activities: gym for a while, swimming in the summer...we want her to start soccer in the fall. We alternate, not all at once. [I can't believe i said "we" TWICE!]
By the time I get home from work, I feel like Soph and I barely have enough time to eat, bathe and brush our teeth. I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to fit in homework one of these days!
But I can really see Olivia cheering her brother on at his activities and vice versa, so like everyone else says - if you can handle it, go for it!
Are they happy? Are you happy? Are they excited, eager, healthy and safe?
Are you?
When you or they are no longer happy, when there is no more joy, when the passion is gone, when it interferes with your top priorities (family, healthy, safety, school) . . . then you need to reevaluate.
I'm no pro--but life it short. If you're enjoying it and all else is good, then go for it!
And I am so YOU! I keep saying the same thing you said--yet, I know in my heart if he wants to be involved, if he's excited and drive, I'll support him. Even if that means piano, gymnastics, swimming and glass blowing . . .
What finally stopped us was when G would wake up late at night starving because he was doing so much; this was at age 4! Now we pick and choose. I hate to do it but we try and do one thing at a time AND say no to anything that is later in the evening.
I have no idea how it happened, but somewhere along the way, I became one of "those" moms too :S You know what they say, "if you can't beat em, join em!"
I don't have children, so I can't give any sound advise. That said, I know my parents raised my brother and I to experience new things and to have a childhood that we look back fondly on. As long as your children have a CHILDHOOD - then they are blessed with innocence and youth and happiness. That's the key factor with your decisions.
In the Trenches, it's one activity per child/per season. And absolutely nothing in the summer.
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